FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

Oh friends-with-benefits relationships, why some sync the context can be different but for our purposes we're defining a friends-with-benefits relationship as two individuals who occasionally or often sleep together and are not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

What do we know about it? We know that it's common. In 2013, 30 to 60 percent of American University students engaged in a friends-with-benefits relationship. Is it sustainable? It's arguably not meant to be. It's more like halftime in a sports game or intermission at a theater; free time to reload on your favorite snacks, quench your thirst, and clear your head before the next serious part begins.

Approximately 20 percent of these friendships do join masts and sail away together, pre-iceberg Rose and Jack style, whilst the others don't make room on the floating door and their relationship sinks, never being more than a no-strings-attached flame. Why? That's the question.

A study from 2009 found that the top reasons for ending such a relationship were the development of romantic feelings and negative emotions such as jealousy. In conclusion, emotions. However, Tendrá Night, a communications professor, conducted a series of interviews of 25 students who have had a friend with benefits and found a pattern in their relationship endings: communication and lack thereof.

Ground rules, crowds fun setting up expectations and rules for the arrangement was perceived as effort or relational work that is expected to be absent. Thus, talking about the relationship defeats the purpose of having it. And so, they didn't. Better to stay cool about it, right? Like Jack in the North Atlantic sea, losing face. One student didn't talk about the relationship out of fear of seeming too invested, thereby highlighting the side of self-protection.

Because when you got skin in the game, you stay in the game and thus admit there is a game to lose. And yes, that was a Hamilton quote. The founding father of friends-with-benefits. Granted, they were both married, so friends-with-benefits is all it could ever be. And he did technically pay her husband in order to not let out the secret, which he then did later himself anyway. Moving on.

So call me never. Most of the students would feel uncomfortable with their friend with benefits talking or flirting with others but were unable to bring it up as they didn't feel their reactions were part of the deal and valid. Shh. Some did attempt to speak to their friend but in order not to complicate the situation, they got shut down. The common denominator here is whatever reason leading up to it, the lack of communication kills the situation, whether that's through being silent or being silenced.

So how do you keep your friends with benefits situation afloat? Communicate. Don't play it cool, make the whole thing hot. If it sets the ship on fire or you decide you don't like being on it anyway, well at least the water will be warm. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Sleep Positions Affect Nightmares and Dream Quality

Image
Many people are aware that sleep positions significantly affect sleep quality and comfort during the night, but not everyone knows that certain sleep positions may also increase the likelihood of experiencing nightmares. The Link Between Sleep Positions and Dreams Theresa Cheung, a dream interpretation expert and bestselling author, suggests that sleep positions can indeed influence the nature of our dreams. Although everyone dreams regardless of how they sleep, studies indicate that sleeping on the right side may lead to more emotionally expressive and healing dreams compared to sleeping on the left side, which has been linked to an increased likelihood of nightmares. This is potentially due to the added pressure on the heart when sleeping on the left side, which can lead to poorer sleep quality and a higher incidence of nightmares. Cheung explains that while left-side sleepers might be more prone to nightmares, those who sleep on their backs are also more likely to experience t
Read more

Knife Angel: A Monument Against Violence

Image
The Knife Angel, also known as the National Monument Against Violence & Aggression, is a powerful contemporary sculpture created by British artist Alfie Bradley. Standing at 27 feet (8.2 meters) tall, this striking piece is made from over 100,000 knives collected from amnesty bins and police seizures across the United Kingdom. Creation and Purpose The Knife Angel was completed in 2018 at the British Ironworks Centre in Oswestry, England. The project aimed to raise awareness about the devastating effects of knife crime and to serve as a memorial for those who have lost their lives to such violence. The sculpture was constructed using knives that were disinfected and blunted before being welded onto a steel frame to form the angel's body and wings. Community Involvement Families who have been affected by knife crime were invited to engrave personal messages onto the blades used in the sculpture. Over 80 families participated, adding a deeply emotional and pe
Read more

The Dancing Plague of 1518

Image
The Dancing Plague of 1518, also known as the Dance Epidemic, is one of history's most peculiar and baffling events. It occurred in the city of Strasbourg, France (then part of the Holy Roman Empire), and saw dozens of people dancing uncontrollably for days on end. The phenomenon remains largely unexplained, but it has captured the imagination of historians and researchers for centuries. This article explores the details of the event, the possible causes, and its lasting impact. Historical Context of the Dancing Plague In July 1518, a woman named Frau Troffea began dancing fervently in the streets of Strasbourg. She danced for several hours without stopping, and within a week, dozens of others had joined her. Reports suggest that at its peak, around 400 people were affected by the urge to dance. These individuals danced continuously for days, some even collapsing from exhaustion, and a few reportedly died from heart attacks, strokes, or sheer fatigue. Strasbourg in the Early
Read more