Attachment Theory

We all remember feeling a sense of separation anxiety when we were kids

Whether it would be your parents dropping you off at school or having your favorite stuffed animal taken away from you. We only got a sense of relief when the person or thing that was taken away is brought back. This is the beginning of attachment theory.

Attachment Theory in Adulthood

The separation anxiety can continue into adulthood like when you get anxious about having your cell phone taken away. But why do humans behave like this? Psychologists have labeled the reason behind these early childhood anxieties as attachment and have explored human connection through parent-child bonding.

The Significance of Attachment

Daniel Goleman states that attachment provides the glue that keeps not just a couple but a family together and caregiving as the impulse to look after offspring so our children can grow up to have their own. The early stages of childhood are the most crucial in development.

Factors Affecting Attachment

This time in a child's life is when they have experiences that shape how we relate to other people. Having a healthy relationship with the child's parents is key in his development. It is hard in some families though for the child to get a sense of attachment to their mother.

Reasons for Difficulty in Attachment

  • Sometimes the mother has Post Partum Depression and withdraws from the baby.
  • There's a lack of resources that makes the family less ready to focus on building an attachment.

Types of Attachment

A study done by Mary Ainsworth called "Strange Situations" identified three types of attachment: secure, anxious-avoidant attachment, and anxious-ambivalent attachment. A fourth type of attachment, disorganized, disoriented attachment, was introduced later by Ainsworth's colleague Mary Main.

Disorganized, Disoriented Attachment

This is when a child avoids their parent or caregiver but is also clingy. When the parent or caregiver leaves and comes back, the child looks dazed and disoriented.

Impact of Attachment Style

Our attachment style with our parents or caregivers growing up plays a huge role in how we live our lives today. What do you think your attachment style is?

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