5 Things Not to Say or Do When Supporting Someone with an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are not commonly discussed, yet they affect millions of people globally. According to statistics from the National Eating Disorder Information Center, over 1 million people suffer from eating disorders in Canada alone. These disorders have some of the highest mortality rates among mental illnesses, often going unnoticed until it’s too late. Eating disorders involve much more than just an aversion to food; they are characterized by a complex and unhealthy relationship with food.

Types of Eating Disorders

Eating disorders come in many forms, each with distinct symptoms and challenges. Some of the most common types include:

  • Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by a refusal to maintain a healthy weight, an intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image.
  • Bulimia Nervosa: Involves cycles of binge eating followed by purging to prevent weight gain, through vomiting, excessive exercise, or laxative use.
  • Binge Eating Disorder: Characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food, often in secret, and feeling a lack of control over the behavior.
  • Pica: The persistent consumption of non-food substances such as dirt, clay, or paper.

This article is dedicated to helping loved ones understand the sensitive, yet crucial, topic of eating disorders. Here are five important things to avoid saying or doing when you know someone struggling with an eating disorder.

1. Don’t Talk About Your Body

It’s easy to make comments about your own body or appearance without thinking, but for someone with an eating disorder, these remarks can be deeply triggering. Whether you’re giving yourself a compliment or expressing dissatisfaction, people with eating disorders are often extremely insecure about their own bodies. Even casual comparisons can be interpreted as criticism. Instead, focus on positive and supportive conversations that avoid body talk altogether.

2. Avoid Criticism or Force-Feeding

If someone you know is struggling with anorexia or bulimia, avoid actions that may come across as force-feeding. While your intention may be to help, small gestures like pushing a plate closer or encouraging them to eat more can increase their anxiety. People with eating disorders often have a distorted perception of portion sizes, and even well-meaning actions can make them feel more fearful of food. Try to approach meal times with patience and understanding, allowing them to find their own balance.

3. Don’t Say “I Understand”

It’s natural to want to empathize by saying, “I understand what you’re going through.” However, unless you’ve experienced an eating disorder yourself, it’s unlikely that you fully grasp the complexities of their situation. Such statements may come off as dismissive or trivializing, making the person feel misunderstood. Recovery from an eating disorder is a long and challenging process, often taking years. Offering support without claiming to fully understand can make a world of difference.

4. Be Mindful About Diet Talk

Casual conversations about diets, detoxes, or restrictive eating habits can be harmful to someone with an eating disorder. When you mention that you’re on a diet or cutting certain foods, the person may feel pressured to adopt similar behaviors, leading to further guilt and unhealthy comparisons. It’s important to be aware of how diet talk can affect those around you, especially those who are already struggling with their relationship with food.

5. Don’t Say “You Don’t Look Like You Have an Eating Disorder”

One of the most dangerous misconceptions about eating disorders is that they are always visible. People with eating disorders don’t always appear underweight or sick. In fact, many individuals may seem perfectly healthy on the outside while battling significant internal struggles. Comments like “you don’t look like you have an eating disorder” can invalidate their experiences, making it harder for them to seek help or acknowledge the severity of their condition. Remember, eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, and recovery is a deeply personal journey.

Conclusion: Supporting Someone with an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are complex mental health issues that require understanding, patience, and compassion. If you know someone who is struggling, the best thing you can do is offer support and remind them that they are not alone. Recovery is a difficult road, but with love, understanding, and professional help, it is possible. Encourage positive body image and focus on the person’s worth beyond their appearance. It’s what’s on the inside that truly matters, and with your help, they may one day come to believe that themselves.

Do you know someone struggling with an eating disorder? If so, remember that even small acts of kindness and understanding can make a big difference.

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